The story of a big city girl in a small town and how she grow to love it!

I have to admit that I am a big city girl.

Hell, I am from Kay to the Ell.

One of the most vibrant, most busy, never sleep kind of city in South East Asia. With tonnes of opportunity and chances to do something great. As early as 17 years old, when I had to choose the city of the university I want to enrol in, I was very definitive about which university I want to go. A University in a big city – which of course Kuala Lumpur. It’s our capital city.

A University in a big city – which of course Kuala Lumpur.

Living in a small town or small village – kind of really not my thing. Even for my Master’s Degree, I choose to go to Amsterdam, and I enjoyed spending my time in big cosmopolitan for example in London, Paris, Los Angeles, Shanghai, Singapore, or Dubai.

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Pure big city gal that loves her Sunday brunch, daily workout, meeting with friends, going to the movies, events and many other stuff. 

So, basically when I have to leave my city to Bern, naturally I did a little research about this town. I was nervous about it, of course. With 126,000 people living in this town, can I actually survive it?

It was tough at first, trust me. But then, the routines fall into places. I usually go to classes, went to get some groceries, do my research, I found yoga classes that I can participate, some new cutting edge gym and kickboxing classes too. I have some friends that I can go out with. People that I know I can have a good time with. Birthday parties to go. Some nice bars with cheap wines  (LOL!).

Bern is not a huge metropolitan but for me, it’s really enough. The environment to study is very conducive and I am here to conduct my research. The possibility of networking with the people in my field is tremendous and I seriously felt like I walked into a new world and I am absorbing all this wonderful knowledge.

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One of the things I am grateful of is that I can easily get along with people. A lot of people describe me as someone that have a positive vibe, and because of this, I am able to establish friendship rather easily. My grandfather used to tell me as a little child that I have a friendly face. A face that people believe they are able to trust – I think his words make sense now because trust me. You won’t believe how many people randomly wrote to me either on Facebook or Instagram or email about their personal problems. They don’t even need my assistance or anything. They just need someone to talk to.

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Making friends and getting along with people are the skills I nurture for a long time. So I capitalise this skills to make friends easily – which is extremely useful when you move to the new country. Some tips to make friends easily that I have learned along the way and I am still trying to improve on it myself:

  1. Don’t be a stuck up bitch
  2. Don’t be a stuck up bitch
  3. Don’t be a stuck up bitch

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Okay fine. Let’s be serious now.

  1. Say Yes to invitations for drinks or hang out. People are more open and less serious in an informal situation.
  2. Don’t be afraid to say Hello or Hi to people and be genuinely interested in their life. Ask questions about them. People love the opportunity to talk about themselves.
  3. My mother always said: “Don’t talk too much about yourself. Nobody like a bragger. You are not that interesting. Let them find out by themselves if they are interested in you.”
  4. Be proactive. Organise something, yourself. I usually organize a dinner where I cook for my classmates, or I cooked something at home and bring to class so that everyone can eat together. This way, you are always able to get to know each other better.
  5. If people invites you to a party, don’t be an asshole that come empty handed. Always bring something. Alcohol is always a good idea. Or else you can always bring desserts, chips, chocolates or flowers  – flowers is suitable for a ‘homely’ kind of party. Don’t bring a flower to a frat party. You are not a moron.
  6. Be yourself. Nobody likes a fake person and trust me, people can smell it from miles away.
  7. Be generous with your smile. I never see a smiling face that is not beautiful.

But trust me.

Friendship or relationship with another person takes a lot of time and energy and emotional investment. These things are not instant and sometimes it’s not even going to work out. At my age, I am quite choosy for whom I am investing my time with. You don’t need to be friends with the entire world. But in case you want to do that, the tips I am sharing with you works for me.

I hope it works for you too.

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P.s: I am serious about not being a stuck up bitch. You are not that special.

 

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